NaNoWriMo rumblings....

It's co-ming!!! Only weeks until the crazy rush of pouring out thousands of words on a daily basis. Will this be the year I do 100,000?

A better question is- what will I write about. Matt, my husband and fellow NaNo-fiend, believes I should start November 1st without a single idea.

That would be awesome....if I were a good writer.

I'm not yet. I don't write because I enjoy the sound of my writers "voice"- in fact, I feel I can barely craft a paragraph worthy of readership. I write because I have characters in my brain.

Like I've said before- I have about 3 or 4 stories I've carried through my life in one version or the other. Like the piece I blogged about a couple posts ago- the fantasy that started as a girl-hood daydream, then moved into Star Trek fan-fiction, then transitioned into what it is today.

As I get older, add more life experience and knowledge the stories already implanted in my head grow and get more complex. But I can't seem to come up with any new angles, any totally original plot lines.

This is why I will not try to write something entirely new. It sounds fun- and I will try sometime. But right now- it feels like I have a brain tumor that blocks any creativity that could realize a new story. Even the fantasy is back burner-ed because (takes deep breath and shrugs) Blood Freckles is not finished.

And I can't get over it. Every time I try to let my mind weave ideas, they come back to the same people, the same scenes, the same places. I have to "kill" this story. Not back-burner it. Not forget it.

I must finish it and write it for real. I'm sure I'll never be 100% happy with it, but I'd be content with 80% happy and 100% finished, as opposed to the 30% happy and 80% finished it is now. I will never be able to move on if I don't.

Everyone close to me is probably SO tired of this story. Of the characters, of the issues I have with the story. But, I HAVE to do this. I must finish it. Next month.