Writing real people.

This is a weird thing for me. This is not non-fiction, but it's inspired heavily by experiences in my own life. Most of the characters have a real-life equivalent.
It feels wrong in some ways, though- I think there are people who will fee hurt by the portrayal, but I have to let that go. It's not real, after all, the actual people have been dramatized to push along the plot.

The person that the love interest is based on barely resembles my character. I merely took a situation that happened with that person, and then cut him out and inserted Nathan, my love interest in the story. Nathan is different than..ahem...this other person in many ways. It's funny because I sort of made him more like the man I actually married, (Matt) since I cannot imagine a better man than him. Also, the main character, Dawn, who's loosely based on me is much, much riskier than I am, and more secure in some ways. And less conservative.

The other characters are going to be close to real life. Which is why I may never ever show this to anyone, lest somebody get pissed off!! (no, I can't do that, can I?)

The real life events are only the jumping off point for bigger scenes in the story. One example was a trip down to southern california with our school choir. It wasn't that big of a deal, but in my story, it is.

I love writing, because you can play with all the "what if's" in life. My reality is so blessed, I feel the freedom to do this.

Sick of my own voice.

How does one prevent this? I struggle sentence to sentence to try to not sound so stupid.

I feel like it's all a bunch of "she made a pot of coffee. She turned on the radio. She felt sad."

I'm doing textbook WRONG things consistently. Telling not showing. No description. Characters lacking their own voices.

I need practice. Ok, off to crank out some more crap. :)

First Chapter finished.

And oy, it's thin. I really struggle with description. Dialogue I get...or at least I think I do. And as always, point of view and tense are a constant problem.

I started it with a wedding set in real place in my own life. Certain blog followers may find it familiar to them. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

So anyway, I slogged through it in my own way. 'Just thought I'd let you know.

Here's an excerpt of it:

"When the last bridesmaid walks, it is Dawns turn. She steps out into the church sanctuary. She stares up into the wood-paneled ceiling- the very same ceiling she spent years staring into every Sunday during church. The red carpet underfoot was the same and the walls were painted a very subtle “Baptist” green, just as it had been 20 years prior. The smell was the same. The piano, the organ, the choir loft, where she'd stood many times...that's where she had to walk to. She just had to get down the aisle and stand on the third level. Pastor was there, smiling broadly over the whole scene, as he had at almost every wedding she'd ever been to.
She didn't let herself look at the crowd. Her mother let out a muffled sob when she passed that caused an annoyance that dampened the terror a bit. She found herself somehow in place, watching the crowd stand as Ce-Ce stepped into the doorway.
The march began, and Dawn felt hot tears ripping through her painted face. It was over. This was the end of the silly times. The end of giggling and shopping and crying over Anne of Green Gables."

Editing. Lots and lots of editing will be needed. I've got years and years and years of re-writes. I may publish this in the year 2050.

A single song to drive my plot.

A friend of mine is a ruthless music pusher. That's ok, because I do it too.

She's been pushing Jeff Buckley on me for a few months now, and frankly, I was just sort of bored. I couldn't get it. She said she was sure at least one of his songs would suck me in and I felt bad, because, they weren't.

So, I made a new playlist tonight- a ritual of creativity for me whether I'm painting or writing. I choose a Jeff Buckley song for the list- just a random one.

And as is played through my computer, I found myself almost in tears!!!

"Thats IT!!!"

I know where to start now.

Here's the song lyrics:

"Lover, you should have come over" by Jeff Buckley

Looking out the door I see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners
Parading in a wake of sad relations as their shoes fill up with water
And maybe I'm too young to keep good love from going wrong
But tonight you're on my mind so you never know

When I'm broken down and hungry for your love with no way to feed it
Where are you tonight, child you know how much I need it
Too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run

Sometimes a man gets carried away, when he feels like he should be having his fun
And much too blind to see the damage hes done
Sometimes a man must awake to find that really, he has no-one

So Ill wait for you... and Ill burn
Will I ever see your sweet return
Oh will I ever learn

Oh lover, you should've come over
cause its not too late

Lonely is the room, the bed is made, the open window lets the rain in
Burning in the corner is the only one who dreams he had you with him
My body turns and yearns for a sleep that will never come

Its never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
Its never over, all my riches for her smiles when I slept so soft against her
Its never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
Its never over, shes the tear that hangs inside my soul forever

Well maybe Im just too young
To keep good love from going wrong

Oh... lover, you should've come over
cause its not too late

Well I feel too young to hold on
And Im much too old to break free and run
Too deaf, dumb, and blind to see the damage Ive done
Sweet lover, you should've come over
Oh, love well I'm waiting for you

Lover, you should've come over
cause its not too late

Absolutely perfect.

Trying to get focused again

With school ending and all the real-life obligations associate with that, I haven't had much time to be creative. But my mind doesn't stop.


A recent reunion with high school friends has inspired me to re-visit the screenplay I wrote for Script Frenzy '08. I think I'd like to attempt it in novel form. I thought perhaps the story was too thin, too cheesy to bring up again, but not now. After an amazing weekend with these old friends, I learned I was not alone in a lot of the feelings I had and still have about my high school years. And frankly, I heard a lot of great material that could be fictionalized, elaborated and made into something unique.

I'm one of those people who not only remembers High School, I'm probably a bit stuck. After High School came a lot of great things- a cross-country relocation,great friends, a wonderful husband (right away, almost), etc. But I also experienced a huge failure and a lot of depression. In some ways this left me stuck. I didn't take off and soar into adulthood- I stumbled around aimlessly and felt tremendously ineffective. Gone were the exciting, productive and pretty days of high school. I felt fat, directionless and un-talented.

Maybe I'll turn all of that into some believable writing.

I always think of Anne of Green Gables....or Anne of Avonlea...where Anne is trying to write this epic romance, but in the end writes what she knows. This would be a perfect example! I know this particular environment I grew up in (which is Conservative Christianity), and I have stepped out of it enough now to be able to observe it objectively, I believe.

This is what is taking up my brain space now. If I can focus on it.

I'm still crafting and re-crafting Blood Freckles- trying to get it to a point where I can do re-write #3. I may back-burner it, though, as I cannot seem to get good angle on it.

Then there's the matter of the Fantasy I want to write. I feel like I'm definitely in over my head with it. I know the characters, I know the basic (very basic) premise, I just can't figure out how to make it cohesive. And the factual info? There re elements of this that are actually Sci-Fi, and I do not feel qualified to write Sci-Fi in anyway. So, this will take time.

I'm also trying to paint like mad right now, which is another part of my brain.

Summer is coming...next week I'll be school-free and hopefully my brain will come alive and my fingers will be flying on this very keyboard.